Let Everything that Has Breath Praise the Lord

The past few weeks away from an 8-5 job have provided me the opportunity to feel like ME again. The beautiful ache for beauty, the empathy that I share with music, my desire to be bathed in the Word of God, and my desire to write again. Maybe these are mundane things to most people, but those are deep, real things that make me who I am. Since I have worked in a call center, for whatever reason, I have felt loss because these things seemed to be missing. Music wasn't quite penetrating me the way that it used to, my hunger for God seemed jaded, and I had writers block like never before. But even with the busy-ness of maternity, I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time.

I wish I had my piano here. I miss playing, and I ache for the release that it was for me. Those deep parts of me that are so difficult to express verbally found their way out through my fingers on 88 keys. I heard someone talking about modulations and music theory today, and remembered that I actually know a lot of music theory, after all, I studied it for 12 years. I would still love for the Lord to use music in some way through me.

I have also been missing involvement in global missions. I have been recalling my cross-cultural experiences---the faces, the places, the purpose...and long to be involved again. I pray that Adam and I are able to go together and serve somewhere.

I long to know Jesus and to be conformed to His image. I long to love deeply, richly, and selflessly, and I long to desire the things that He desires. I fall so short, but am learning to lean on grace.

This entry has been scatter brained--much more a personal journal entry than a public blog, but thank you, reader, for bearing with me. I close with the lyrics to a song that has been on repeat in my home lately:

Hallelujah from the heavens
Hallelujah in the heights above the earth
Hallelujah all His angels
Hallelujah for the last will be first
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord

Hallelujah in the morning
Hallelujah for the beauty of His scars
Hallelujah in the twilight
Hallelujah sun and moon and shining stars
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord

When the night seems so long (throw your hands to the sky)
You can sing a new song (wipe the tears from your eyes)
when you're weak, He is strong
He can heal your wounded soul
And calm the storm inside

For all your times of laughter
In every hopeful prayer
When the world weighs on your shoulders
Through sorrow and your despair
With everything, with every breath, praise the Lord
Let everything, that has breath praise the Lord
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord
Let everything, that has breath praise the Lord

When the night seems so long (throw your hands to the sky)
You can sing a new song (wipe the tears from your eyes)
When you're weak, He is strong
He can heal your wounded soul
And calm the storm inside

New Life

It's 11:14am. The sun is shining through our living room glass doors, and I am holding my 10 day old son, Logan, against my chest while he sleeps. This seems to be his preferred sleeping position, as once he snuggles up against me he doesn't move (as opposed to basinet sleeping where the poor baby sleeps for 1/2 an hour max at this point. Looking forward to longer sleeping patterns in his bed).

Logan was born on Saturday, March 13, 2010 at 6:47pm. He was 7 lbs 11oz and 20 1/2 inches long. Very healthy, very strong. Very sweet. Thus far, he's been an easy baby to take care of! Once he's fed, changed, and slept, he's incredibly docile and observant. I think he's going to be a smart one :-) He looks around and takes it all in. He reminds me of his dad for that reason---definitely an observer. It's a great quality really. Mom, however, doesn't always take the time to observe before leaping, so my boys bring me balance. haha.

Logan is pacified by singing. He doesn't like getting his diaper changed all that much. Mark that---he doesn't like having a dirty diaper, but the process of fixing it isn't always pleasant. However, if mommy and daddy sing to him while we change him, he calms down and lets us proceed with our work. This past week, I have sung "Jesus loves me" more times than I can count, but it's been a beautiful reminder to myself that when I am weak, He is strong.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Zephaniah 3:17 which says, "The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One will save. He rejoice over you with gladness. He will rejoice over you with singing." That verse comforted me through several difficult years in late high school/early college. However, this last week has brought a whole new dimension to the beauty of that verse. Logan is pacified by his mom and dad singing over him. Likewise, our Heavenly Father rejoices over US and sings over US when we are fussy. Often, I can hardly get through a song to Logan before my eyes well up with tears of joy and gratitude for this little man, and I am amazed to think that God delights in His children that way---no, infinitely more so! How beautiful and precious.

Having only been a parent for 10 days now, I am already amazed at what a different perspective it affords of our loving creator. I consider the cross, and wonder how God was able to give up his only son for us. The thought of Logan experiencing pain is terrifying, bringing a whole new perspective to the beauty of Christ's sacrifice on our behalf.

In more ordinary terms, this week was full of feedings and changings, and that's pretty much it. Eat, poop, sleep, repeat. Daddy has had more unfortunate floods on his shirt than mom. I think it's a dominance issue. haha. I, however, got pooped on last night, and am getting used to dried spit up on my shirts.

We're embarking on a whole new adventure. It's a calling, and I am both thrilled and absolutely dependent upon the Lord for strength and guidance. Little sleep and learning to die to myself for the health of my son are real struggles. I cannot imagine what this would be like if I were alone. Adam is amazing. He is such a natural father---involved, sensitive, in tune with Logan's and mommy's needs, and eager to meet them. I am so blessed to have a husband like that. He's my hero.

Well, looks like it's time for little man to get some more food. More updates to come.

Love,
the Bodines

March Madness

The month of March brings different images to different people. Some think of leprechauns and pots of gold. Some think of St. Patrick. Some remember being tortured as a child when they forgot to wear green and got pinched all day on the 17^th (that was me. Very rarely did I “luck” out and accidentally wear green on that day). Millions think of March Madness---the NCAA Men’s Division basketball championship. No, this article isn’t going to be about my bids for the year. Ok, admittedly, I don’t even know what a bid is, much less who mine would be on. But I did a little research on this championship in pursuit of something bigger: taking the chance that you get.

March Madness is held each year during the spring, and features 65 college basketball teams in the United States. The tournament was first developed by the National Association of Basketball Coaches in 1939. The NCAA took over the tournament the following season. The tournament has less famously been known as “The Big Dance.” The tournament is a single-elimination contest, thus, for success, it is essential that a team be “on their best game” at all times. There is no making up for a loss. Teams have one chance, and they either make it or break it. One team inevitably walks away the champion. They took everything that they had, they stayed focused, and they finished victoriously.

Ok, I’m going to diverge from the basketball analogy for a little bit to more familiar territory for me. But hold on, I promise I will make the connection!

I love music. I always have. My journals from the time I was 10 years old to now have been full of song lyrics that impacted me than my own pros. Even instrumental music has always moved me to the core. Something about music stirs life in me like nothing else. It’s as though someone reaches into the most central part of my soul and turns it inside out. I love it, but I can no way effectively describe it. Jon Foreman’s lyrics are probably the most common in my journals. He conjures up poetry that I could only hope to compose myself. In one of his recent releases with Switchfoot, Jon sings, “It’s no accident we’re here tonight; we are once in a lifetime.”

Stop.

Take that in.

It’s no accident you are here. It’s no accident that you are right where you are. It’s no accident that you ARE at all.

YOU are once in a lifetime. This is your life, and it’s your one chance.

There’s the connection I promised I’d make. Like March Madness, you have one chance to make your life count. The Bible tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are unique individuals that happen once in a lifetime. You are the only YOU this world will ever have. Granted, your one chance is (God-willing) composed of many days. There are failures. There are wins. Thus, unlike March Madness, if you lose one day, you are not destined to lose it all. In fact, that’s the beauty of salvation! Christ came to redeem your loss! Selah.

However, while “every breath is a second chance” (another Jon Foreman lyric), each “win” moves us to the next level. As we daily choose to live as a champion, a winner, and a victor under the direction of our Great Coach, we move to the next level. We must take the day-to-day opportunities that we have and play well in order to move forward. In Luke 16:10, Jesus says, “He who is faithful in little will be faithful with much.” Each opportunity is a new round. How are YOU playing? How did you handle that student on the phone? How did you react to that unexpected bill? How did you treat that person in the grocery store line? How did you help your colleague? Each little opportunity is part of your great, once in a lifetime life. This month’s challenge is to evaluate your lifelong championship. Are you taking what you have been given and running hard with it? If not, it’s not too late to start! Run Hard. Love Strong. Stay focused, and live victoriously.