Before I begin this entry, let me first just point out what an amazing cultural phenomenon Google.com has become. The term "google" has literally transcended the form of a proper noun to what is now a common place verb.
I don't think that the questions I ask are rare. I don't think that I am alone when I ask, "Does my life matter? Am I making an impact? Am I at least moving in the right direction for something greater?" I think most of us ask ourselves those questions, and I think that most of us find ourselves in ruts of despair and finally settle into thinking that the questions will be left unanswered. Allow me to be transparent: I'm there right now. I find myself daily asking if this day-to-day living makes a difference. I find myself wondering if these things that seem so mundane are moving me in the right direction of leaving a legacy. Does it matter that the majority of my days right now are spent producing milk for a 3 month old? Does it matter that I work hard to stay caught up with laundry, dishes, and errands? Do my coffee dates with girlfriends make a difference in anything? What about my prayers---are those hitting the ceiling? Do all of the conversations about our desires to serve and be used matter for my husband and I? My flesh tells me that they don't matter. It's too small, too ordinary, too mundane to matter. I need to do more, be more, love more, serve more. But my faith tells me differently. My faith tells me that every breath matters. Every day counts. And my God loves me so much that the life that He gave to me is intentional. Often, my flesh FEELS like 90% of my thoughts, and my faith 10%. I feel bogged down by my blindness. But I believe with all of my heart that questions will be answered through my faith, and that yours can too. The Creator of the Universe---the Creator of you and me---He is the one that has the answers.
Sometimes I wish God had a search engine. I wish I could go to answersinJesus.com and type in, "Why did you create me?" and pull up a reference from God Himself that says, "Haley was born on November 21, 1985 so that I could use her to ________________________." Can I get a witness?
But here I am. On a journey that I believe will lead me home, and that does, in fact, have a purpose for the Kingdom of God. That purpose may turn out to be completely different than what I imagine, but as my husband has told me so many times, if that is the case it will be even better. Now, I just need to learn to trust the Lord (surely I am not the only one that has a hard time with this one), and live obediently in those things that seem so ordinary.
h some of you
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Meaning of Sacrifice
One word has come to mind over and over these last few days: sacrifice.
I was reading in Hebrews 13 this morning where, presumably Paul (though the author is unknown), says, "For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come. Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name." This follows a passage exhorting believers to be content with what they have and to not be covetous of what they do not have, remembering that God has promised to never leave or forsake His children. Psalm 84 reminds us that we are pilgrims en route to "home." En route--not yet arrived; this is not our home. I forget that. I hunger for all the wrong things: wealth, possessions, security in the number I see in my bank account... but the truth is that these things will not satiate my thirst, just like drinking gasoline will not satisfy my physical thirst. Rather, it will kill me. This is not it; we are on our way home, and our focus must be to sacrifice our lust for the praise of the one who gave it all for us.
Sacrifice can be defined as "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim." As a mother, I will sacrifice my morning cup of coffee (trust me---a prized possession, no matter what anyone says) so that my son can eat when he is hungry, and be changed when he needs a new diaper. I am now accustomed to microwaving a cup of coffee no less than 2 times before being able to finish it. This is a petty example, but an exhibit of sacrifice none the less. My cup of coffee is of value to me personally, but my son's health and well-being has a higher and more pressing claim. It is far more valuable. Now, let's magnify this. God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, Jesus, as a sacrifice for the salvation of all who would believe and follow Him. God watched His son go through 33 years of ridicule, mockery, and ultimately a brutal death. What a cost! But the cost was WORTH IT in the mind of the Almighty. He saw US---that's right! You and Me!---as a higher and more pressing claim that justified the sacrifice that has justified us! Sacrifice.
So back to Hebrews. Be content with such things as you have, offer the sacrifice of praise. What does this mean? Honestly, I'm wrestling through it. I'm not going to pretend to know something that I haven't come to understand. I do know that it means giving up something that I authentically prize for something that I hold as higher. I love the Lord. I follow Him. But I have never seen my praise to Him as a sacrifice--what am I going without to praise Him? Is it that I praise Him, worship Him, and give my all for Him in spite of what I feel like I do not have? Or in spite of conditions, circumstances, or other discomforts? That must be it. In spite of what may be happening (or not happening, depending on what I want at any given time), my heart should offer the sacrifice of praise.
Unfortunately, I fall short of offering such a sacrifice consistently. This must, however, be my focus, my mission, my true joy.
Today, I praise Him that my agenda is void--that this post has taken me 6 hours to complete, that I am finishing my cup of coffee at 4pm, that I am still living in Lynchburg, VA, that I had a baby one month after my one year anniversary, that my life is in His hands, that today is no accident...praise Him for sacrifice, for cost, for paying the cost. Praise Him.
I was reading in Hebrews 13 this morning where, presumably Paul (though the author is unknown), says, "For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come. Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name." This follows a passage exhorting believers to be content with what they have and to not be covetous of what they do not have, remembering that God has promised to never leave or forsake His children. Psalm 84 reminds us that we are pilgrims en route to "home." En route--not yet arrived; this is not our home. I forget that. I hunger for all the wrong things: wealth, possessions, security in the number I see in my bank account... but the truth is that these things will not satiate my thirst, just like drinking gasoline will not satisfy my physical thirst. Rather, it will kill me. This is not it; we are on our way home, and our focus must be to sacrifice our lust for the praise of the one who gave it all for us.
Sacrifice can be defined as "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim." As a mother, I will sacrifice my morning cup of coffee (trust me---a prized possession, no matter what anyone says) so that my son can eat when he is hungry, and be changed when he needs a new diaper. I am now accustomed to microwaving a cup of coffee no less than 2 times before being able to finish it. This is a petty example, but an exhibit of sacrifice none the less. My cup of coffee is of value to me personally, but my son's health and well-being has a higher and more pressing claim. It is far more valuable. Now, let's magnify this. God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, Jesus, as a sacrifice for the salvation of all who would believe and follow Him. God watched His son go through 33 years of ridicule, mockery, and ultimately a brutal death. What a cost! But the cost was WORTH IT in the mind of the Almighty. He saw US---that's right! You and Me!---as a higher and more pressing claim that justified the sacrifice that has justified us! Sacrifice.
So back to Hebrews. Be content with such things as you have, offer the sacrifice of praise. What does this mean? Honestly, I'm wrestling through it. I'm not going to pretend to know something that I haven't come to understand. I do know that it means giving up something that I authentically prize for something that I hold as higher. I love the Lord. I follow Him. But I have never seen my praise to Him as a sacrifice--what am I going without to praise Him? Is it that I praise Him, worship Him, and give my all for Him in spite of what I feel like I do not have? Or in spite of conditions, circumstances, or other discomforts? That must be it. In spite of what may be happening (or not happening, depending on what I want at any given time), my heart should offer the sacrifice of praise.
Unfortunately, I fall short of offering such a sacrifice consistently. This must, however, be my focus, my mission, my true joy.
Today, I praise Him that my agenda is void--that this post has taken me 6 hours to complete, that I am finishing my cup of coffee at 4pm, that I am still living in Lynchburg, VA, that I had a baby one month after my one year anniversary, that my life is in His hands, that today is no accident...praise Him for sacrifice, for cost, for paying the cost. Praise Him.
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