It is 6:16am. Logan and I are up for "first breakfast." I don't remember when I brought him into the living room. I think it was around 3, but my most coherent memory is waking up in the chair in our living room with Logan snuggled against my chest. I had to have been half asleep when I moved from the bedroom to the living room. Bizarre.
Logan will be six weeks old this Saturday. Wow. Six weeks ago today, I was still able to sleep past 5:30am. I'm used to it now though. It's so beautiful to see his personality starting to come out. He loves observing things. He loves looking at lights, and bright colors. He has started playing with Adam and I---kicking his arms and legs, and we've even gotten a few solid smiles out of him! Each day, I love that I have the privilege of watching him grow. I can't imagine letting this happen in a day care and missing it! It's so precious to be a part of this little man's growth! I love interacting with him. He's my little buddy :-) And I'm so proud of him. Every milestone that he reaches, every growth spurt, every new skill that he learns, I celebrate.
That got me thinking. Surely God, as the perfect Father, does the same with us. We are His children, and surely He celebrates our growth. He loves us unconditionally---ransomed by the blood of Jesus, and free of the Law----yet He grows us into His perfect image. He must be so pleased by His children's development.
I'm learning so much more about God now that I am a parent. I figured that I would, but it really is neat.
I decided to read the book of Judges. I've never read the entire book! I am amazed at God's perfect paternity. He gave Israel clear standards of right and wrong. As a Father, He had to allow consequences when Israel crossed the line. Yet, every time that Israel called out to Him, He rescued them. As parents, Adam and I will do our best to show Logan what is right and what is wrong. Inevitably, there will be times when Logan will choose wrong, even when the right decision is clear. Adam and I will have to allow consequences. We will have to allow Logan to suffer pain and difficulties as a result of his choices---not because we enjoy watching him squirm, but because he will have to learn why right is right, and wrong is wrong. But when he looks to us and says, "I need help. I was wrong," we will be right there to love him, and get him back on the right track.
I'm loving this. It's the most challenging calling I've ever been given. I can't have what I want, when I want it anymore. My six week old son dictates when I can read, when I can eat, when I can enjoy a cup of coffee, how long I can be out and about to run errands...I'm having to die to myself like no other time in my life. But I love it. It's so worth it to see him smile back at me.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Is it Thursday? Wait, no...Tuesday? Oh! It's Friday!
My days all blur together! It's Friday, but it feels like Thursday, and I can't remember what happened on Tuesday because Tuesday felt like Monday, Wednesday felt like it didn't happen, etc. etc. I'm not used to not being on a schedule. It's getting easier though.
I've been reading a phenomenal book called "The 4:8 Principle" by Tommy Newberry. I highly recommend it. The book is based on Philippians 4:8 which says, "Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy---meditate on these things." The book is about joy being within our grasp, not as a result of changed circumstances, but as a result of changed thinking. Far too often in my lifetime, I (like most) have been a slave to my emotions. If I FEEL negatively, life stinks and there is nothing I can do about it, except complain and FEEL. However, this book challenges that notion. What if joy has nothing to do with circumstances, but has everything to do with right thinking? God has given us permission to be joyful! He has given us freedom, and the power of His spirit to be full of joy, regardless of what is happening! But it takes our effort to meditate on the right things. We are what we think upon!
It is a mental exercise for me, to be sure. Waking up each morning saying, "I get to get out of bed," rather than, "I have to get out of bed," but day by day, it is easier. Very similar to physical exercise: the more often you do it, the easier it gets, and the better you feel. My attitude is within my control, and I am called to joy. Beautiful!
Logan is five weeks old tomorrow! He's getting big, and in so many ways I cannot fathom that 6 weeks ago, he was still in my belly! He is developing his own personality, and like his dad, enjoys observing things before engaging in them. He is fascinated by light and color. There is a painting in our dining room that is just abstract color, and he will just sit and look at that painting for minutes upon end. He is also captivated by a little black stereo that we have in our kitchen. Adam has promised to give it to him when he is old enough to appreciate it.
We are slowly but surely settling into a sense of normalcy in our family life. We have fought to meet our family value of having at least one meal together per day at a table, and we believe it is worth the fight. Adam and I are learning how to take advantage of the few free moments that we have at the same time to enjoy each other, connect, laugh, talk, catch up, pray together, and bask in our relationship. Before we ever found out we were pregnant, we decided together that when children did come along, our marriage would be a priority. If our marriage falls apart because we become too busy or distracted, we are doing our children no service at all. Our love for each other is worth the fight to know each other through the years, and with a newborn, it has been a fight. But by God's grace, we are doing it.
Sorry this post has been a little bit of a stream-of-consciousness entry; I'm lucky to be conscious at all! Logan just now settled into a deep nap. It's 3:20pm, and normally he has been sleeping for the last two hours! I'm going to go enjoy the remaining moments of his sleep---quietly.
Thanks for reading. Tune in next time for more ramblings.
I've been reading a phenomenal book called "The 4:8 Principle" by Tommy Newberry. I highly recommend it. The book is based on Philippians 4:8 which says, "Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy---meditate on these things." The book is about joy being within our grasp, not as a result of changed circumstances, but as a result of changed thinking. Far too often in my lifetime, I (like most) have been a slave to my emotions. If I FEEL negatively, life stinks and there is nothing I can do about it, except complain and FEEL. However, this book challenges that notion. What if joy has nothing to do with circumstances, but has everything to do with right thinking? God has given us permission to be joyful! He has given us freedom, and the power of His spirit to be full of joy, regardless of what is happening! But it takes our effort to meditate on the right things. We are what we think upon!
It is a mental exercise for me, to be sure. Waking up each morning saying, "I get to get out of bed," rather than, "I have to get out of bed," but day by day, it is easier. Very similar to physical exercise: the more often you do it, the easier it gets, and the better you feel. My attitude is within my control, and I am called to joy. Beautiful!
Logan is five weeks old tomorrow! He's getting big, and in so many ways I cannot fathom that 6 weeks ago, he was still in my belly! He is developing his own personality, and like his dad, enjoys observing things before engaging in them. He is fascinated by light and color. There is a painting in our dining room that is just abstract color, and he will just sit and look at that painting for minutes upon end. He is also captivated by a little black stereo that we have in our kitchen. Adam has promised to give it to him when he is old enough to appreciate it.
We are slowly but surely settling into a sense of normalcy in our family life. We have fought to meet our family value of having at least one meal together per day at a table, and we believe it is worth the fight. Adam and I are learning how to take advantage of the few free moments that we have at the same time to enjoy each other, connect, laugh, talk, catch up, pray together, and bask in our relationship. Before we ever found out we were pregnant, we decided together that when children did come along, our marriage would be a priority. If our marriage falls apart because we become too busy or distracted, we are doing our children no service at all. Our love for each other is worth the fight to know each other through the years, and with a newborn, it has been a fight. But by God's grace, we are doing it.
Sorry this post has been a little bit of a stream-of-consciousness entry; I'm lucky to be conscious at all! Logan just now settled into a deep nap. It's 3:20pm, and normally he has been sleeping for the last two hours! I'm going to go enjoy the remaining moments of his sleep---quietly.
Thanks for reading. Tune in next time for more ramblings.
Friday, April 09, 2010
Sometimes all you can do is laugh
Yesterday was quite the interesting day. Logan and I got up and met my mom and my aunt for a final shopping venture before they headed back to Tennessee. It was wonderful having them here. I love them both so much, and miss them terribly.
We figured out that my stroller isn't broken after all--simply a user-malfunction! haha. All this time I had been trying to attach the carrier into the stroller incorrectly, and I thought that a part was missing. While in Toys R Us, I had the notion to look at the strollers there, and aha! Saw my blunder. I was very excited to use my stroller for the first time :-) No more hauling the carrier everywhere! I have wheels!
Throughout the day, I could tell that Logan didn't feel well. He was fussy, and kept scrunching his little legs up to his belly. My mom bought infant gas drops, so I gave him the recommended dose. Within one hour, my son pooped 3 times. I'm not talking small diapers either. I'm talking, "Did that just come out of my 9 pound baby, can't even wrap the diaper up" kind of diapers. By the way, no one ever tells you that baby poop can shoot out across the changing table. Yeah. That happened. While I was cleaning up, Logan started spitting up and coughing, so I moved to the other end of his body to assist him and clean THAT up. While cleaning up the spit up, a stream started flying past my face. That's right. In a single changing session, I got pooped on, spit up on, and peed on. Awesome.
Within the following 30 minutes, Logan spit up everything he had eaten. I presume it was everything because it was several heaves, and projectile spit up going all over me, the couch, the floor, and the coffee table. Poor kid. What a rough afternoon! I text messaged Adam to keep him on alert that if this kept up, I was taking Logan to the doctor. Fortunately, after the next feeding, Logan kept everything down and was just fine. Just a little "blip" in the day.
Fast forward a few hours. Adam was at work until 9. I was home alone, and news flashes kept coming over the television that we were under a tornado watch. The meteorologist showed several tornadic events taking place in southern Virginia, and showed the path of the storm--moving our way. About 7:30, *beep*beep*beep*, "Campbell county is under tornado warning. Take cover..." yada yada yada. Little known fact about adult Haley---I have always been terrified of severe storms. I enjoy good summer storms with rolling thunder, but tornados, hail, wind, lighting, sharp/loud thunder...no way. I used to hide out in closets and dark hallways as a kid with my walkman turned up as loud as possible playing "The Lion King" soundtrack. As an adult, my feelings aren't too different. I've just gotten better at keeping myself composed. So back to last night. It's really rather comical. I took blankets, pillows, my cell phone, a bottle of milk for Logan, his diaper bag, his bouncer, and a pacifier into our interior bathroom to set up camp. There we were---my 1 month old son and I, camped out in a bathroom for 20 or 30 minutes, and no tornado. I mean, I guess I'd rather play it safe than sorry, but it really is entertaining now that I look back on it.
All of that to say that sometimes all you can do is laugh, and enjoy the ride. We are all doing well, and learning to adapt to this new life.
We figured out that my stroller isn't broken after all--simply a user-malfunction! haha. All this time I had been trying to attach the carrier into the stroller incorrectly, and I thought that a part was missing. While in Toys R Us, I had the notion to look at the strollers there, and aha! Saw my blunder. I was very excited to use my stroller for the first time :-) No more hauling the carrier everywhere! I have wheels!
Throughout the day, I could tell that Logan didn't feel well. He was fussy, and kept scrunching his little legs up to his belly. My mom bought infant gas drops, so I gave him the recommended dose. Within one hour, my son pooped 3 times. I'm not talking small diapers either. I'm talking, "Did that just come out of my 9 pound baby, can't even wrap the diaper up" kind of diapers. By the way, no one ever tells you that baby poop can shoot out across the changing table. Yeah. That happened. While I was cleaning up, Logan started spitting up and coughing, so I moved to the other end of his body to assist him and clean THAT up. While cleaning up the spit up, a stream started flying past my face. That's right. In a single changing session, I got pooped on, spit up on, and peed on. Awesome.
Within the following 30 minutes, Logan spit up everything he had eaten. I presume it was everything because it was several heaves, and projectile spit up going all over me, the couch, the floor, and the coffee table. Poor kid. What a rough afternoon! I text messaged Adam to keep him on alert that if this kept up, I was taking Logan to the doctor. Fortunately, after the next feeding, Logan kept everything down and was just fine. Just a little "blip" in the day.
Fast forward a few hours. Adam was at work until 9. I was home alone, and news flashes kept coming over the television that we were under a tornado watch. The meteorologist showed several tornadic events taking place in southern Virginia, and showed the path of the storm--moving our way. About 7:30, *beep*beep*beep*, "Campbell county is under tornado warning. Take cover..." yada yada yada. Little known fact about adult Haley---I have always been terrified of severe storms. I enjoy good summer storms with rolling thunder, but tornados, hail, wind, lighting, sharp/loud thunder...no way. I used to hide out in closets and dark hallways as a kid with my walkman turned up as loud as possible playing "The Lion King" soundtrack. As an adult, my feelings aren't too different. I've just gotten better at keeping myself composed. So back to last night. It's really rather comical. I took blankets, pillows, my cell phone, a bottle of milk for Logan, his diaper bag, his bouncer, and a pacifier into our interior bathroom to set up camp. There we were---my 1 month old son and I, camped out in a bathroom for 20 or 30 minutes, and no tornado. I mean, I guess I'd rather play it safe than sorry, but it really is entertaining now that I look back on it.
All of that to say that sometimes all you can do is laugh, and enjoy the ride. We are all doing well, and learning to adapt to this new life.
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